Well, we're parenting...sort of.
You see, my cousin (we'll call her Jane) has a little 3-year-old girl (we'll call her Suzy). Jane has made some decisions lately that have put her in a position where she is not really able to care for Suzy right now. So we are caring for her. As in, we have a living, breathing 3-year-old living in our house, under our care, 24/7. She is a sweet little girl, but she is here because she needs structure and stability...something she has not had in large doses. This makes caring for her challenging, though we are happy to do it.
I also started watching my other two little ones again this week, and the 2-year-old is potty training. Which means she has to go potty every 5-30 minutes. Which means that I pretty much always have someone either on the potty, in time out, crying, hungry, hurt, or any combination of these.
I am losing my mind.
Suzy slept through the night last night for the first time since we got her on Saturday. Last night was the first full night's sleep I have had in almost a week. Now I know it would be really easy for all you parents out there to giggle at my fortune and say something to the effect of, "Well, that's called parenting! What do you think will happen when you have a baby? If you wanted to sleep, you shouldn't have taken on a kid!" But I just want you to know that if you say that, I am liable to hunt you down and hurt you. Yes, parenting is hard, and I get that. But going from no children to 3 walking, talking children in a matter of days? Like I said, I am losing my mind. And actually, I do not have 3 walking, talking children exactly. They all walk, but Suzy does not really talk. I have been working with her on some sign language so she can communicate with me, and she will mimic a lot of words, but she does not seem to really understand what she is saying all the time. I am not frustrated at her, but it is frustrating for sure.
We are supposed to meet with Jane and Jane's parents on the 26th and see where things are at. Jane took Suzy out to the park last night, and we sat down and talked when she brought Suzy back. It looks like we will be keeping her for a little longer past the 26th, though we don't know how long. We don't know how we feel about all that. We are becoming attached and very protective of Suzy, and as stressed out as we are now, we are afraid of how quiet and empty the house will be when she is gone. We are also worried about what kind of environment we will be releasing her back into. Jane is not abusing Suzy, and we don't believe she is being neglected to the point that would warrant alerting the authorities and having her taken from Jane by force. That is a good thing, but it means that we can't do or say much about her care once she goes back to Jane. It's hard for us to think of her being in an unstable environment.
SO...please pray that we would guard our hearts. Pray for me that I would be God-focused, scripture-focused, and Kingdom-focused in my care of Suzy, rather than me-focused, earth-focused, and now-focused. Please, please pray for Jane, that God would work in her life, both practically and spiritually.
There are several other things that I would like to blog about. I have experienced some theological shifts in the past few months, and God has done such a work in my heart in regards to my infertility. But right now, keeping my house livable and its inhabitants clean and fed is almost miraculous, so bear with me! :o)
Friday, July 17, 2009
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6 comments:
"I am liable to hunt you down and hurt you." LOL!!! Fair warning, indeed! :) Geesh love! That's a crazy situation! Denise filled me in a little last night and the first thing I though was "playdate!"
So I hope you are coming to the game tonight and if not, I'll call you soon so I can come over and meet the little one and let Aidan play and show her some signs (she'll be asking for bananas till you run out after this since that's his fave sign). :)
I probably won't *really* hurt people, but I've been hearing some of those sort of things, and they are less than helpful. :o) I (and Suzy) will see you at the game tonight!
Oh, if I could only offer words of encouragement they would be to treasure the opportunity you have at this very moment with this child! In my recent work with juvenile teen girls in a detention facility I have seen the outcome of love being absent from their lives and how important it is to impact them while you can, especially in the situation of only having a sliver of this already short lifetime to do so.
Stand strong sister, the Lord knows His children and blesses others with their deeds.
What you are doing and feeling is very much like all the people I know who foster parent... very tough stuff! I ache for you, April, because I know how your heart must long to protect (and maybe even keep?) Suzy. I will be praying for peace for you and your husband as time goes on and you become even more attached. I love you, girl, and I am praying for you!
Bethany
I actually think it is harder to get dumped on with a bunch of little ones all at once. It is easier to ease into one at a time. I am not sure how people with twins do it.
I'm a casual reader here - I don't know if I've commented before ... maybe. Anyhow, I remember the chaos and suddenness that you are describing. We also care for our nephew whose mother (my sister) isn't able to parent. The weeks after he got here were crazy! The house was upside down, and I was happy to put carrot sticks and granola bars on the table for supper! All the things you said. He was 14 months. Then we adopted a 3 1/2 yr old a month later and a 9 month old a month after that. It makes me smile now, even though it was very hard at the time. Definitely worth it. We are not called to comfort, but to service.
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