The Story

2012-01-29T16:48:00.001-08:00

I just spent a about an hour looking at photographs of myself from the the month I began my weightloss journey. I felt horrified. I do not often look at these images... but, It amazes me that I looked like that... I looked like that and I had no concept or ideaof how I looked or how I felt. To be perfectly honest I believe in my mind I was about the size I am now. Mind you, I am still 62 pounds from the top of my healthy weight range, and 76 pounds from my goal weight.

I have spent a lot of time, a lot of money and a lot of excersise to lose that initial 100 pounds. I worked out regularly, I went to Tuscaloosa Bariatric Health and Wellness at the recommendation of my gynecologist. Well, actually the year before she suggested weight watchers or the Bariatric center.

The Bariatric diet gives you a diet plan called a protien sparing modified fast. Basically you eat around 1000 calories a day, take a vitamen and go to the doctor for blood work every six weeks and weigh in every week. The support I got from the ladies there was fantastic. They were always so encouraging and warm.

But, to be perfectly honest, after the first month I altered the diet to suit my needs as I wanted to workout. My number one priority was to be able to do the things I enjoy... running, hiking and Yoga. So, I added. Basically most days I ate some protein bars, salads, yogurt, lots of pickles. The weight came off, quickly at first then slowed to a normal 1 to 2 pounds a week.

One of my favorite things the bariatric center asked me to do was to list things I wanted to change about myself.. or things I wanted to be able to do. I read the list not too long ago... and I could cross most of them out. That was so wonderful. I wanted to do Yoga, I wanted to cross my legs, I wanted to run and many other things. coming this far has been such a blessing.

In April, Tuscaloosa Alabama was hit by a tornado. I did a lot of volunteer work the two weeks after so I basically ate whatever. I worked hard, carrying logs, debri and doing anything else need for full days. I was exhausted and needed real food.

After that I curbed my diet plan even more, adding more regular foods into my diet. Then in June, I decided to phase out of the diet to lose on my own. Since, I have lost about 20 pounds.

I struggle with food. I am a binge eater and binge spender. I will do so great at restricting myself both fincially and in the kitchen and then I go wild like and eat any and everything I have. Most of the time when this happens it is because I feel out of control... it is like I am punishing myself for being out of control by being way out of control.

In October I moved 2,000 miles away from Tuscaloosa to Provo, Utah. I needed a change and the opportunity presented itself. I did so good the first couple months december was hard on me, I still pulled through okay... but January has been a month full of depression, homesickness and binge eating. One day I ate a whole bag of marshmellows.

Now for the most part, I work out a lot. I do Yoga, a class called Ballet Blast and I work out at the gym. But January, my workouts have been less frequent. I only go to the gym a couple times a week, Yoga three or four times a week and since Dec 28, I have only been to three ballet blast classes. I have added a substantial amount of hiking to my life though, which has been fantastic. Nonetheless, I need to get back on track. My hope is this blog will help me be more accountable, disciplined and focused. I am excited about this next stop on my journey to 122 lbs!

Becoming April

The Story